Sexual bondage requires that a person is either restrained or simply tied up during an act of sexual pleasure.
The mystique of sexual bondage has gone from taboo to an acceptable form of sexual pleasure. When perusing studies on sexual bondage researchers have found that as much as fifty percent of all males believe that sexual bondage is erotic. This is not just confined to the male community, as many women also enjoy sexual bondage.
Thanks to popular books like “The Joy of Sex" and Madonna's, "Sex" there is a great deal more interest in sexual bondage as well as the public's acceptance of this sexual activity.
Table of contents
- 1 Divergent Views
- 1.1 BDSM subcultures
- 1.2 Couples and Bondage
- 1.3 Male Masturbation
- 2 Technique
- 3 Safety
- 4 Why do some people like being tied up?
- 5 Why do some people like to tie other people up?
- 6 How is bondage done?
- 7 What are some more involved techniques?
With so many people participating in sexual bondage now, several different attitudes about bondage have emerged. These groups vary in theory from the social aspect to the sexual aspect as well as how far they will take sexual bondage.
These different groups include:
- The subculture of BDSM, whose participants believe that the focus of bondage should be acquiring power-exchange techniques
- Men and some woman that view bondage as adding another layer of fantasy while masturbating
- Lastly, there are the couples who favour bondage as an exciting sexual technique to share with their partner.
Studies have shown that sexual preference or orientation does not prohibit people from the sexual appeal of bondage.
There is one subculture group related to homosexual men that refer to themselves as leathermen. This group was the primary group to make the public aware of their sexual bondage attitude.
The most prominent BDSM subculture is the leathermen. These individuals fashioned their culture similar to that of the biker culture that was prevalent during the late 1940s The leathermen quickly styled their clothing in order to simulate biker style of black leather garments. Although the two groups enjoyed the same clothing, the clothing itself was used for different purposes. For the biker, leather means warmth and protection while riding their motorcycles, while for the leathermen whom may not even ride a motorcycle; black leather holds a fashionista and fetishista significance.
We can not say with accuracy the exact date that leather was transformed from a fashion statement to its primary use in bondage. But this might also be explained through medieval history with the famous look of the executioner in black leather with black leather straps or a leather adorned stockade torture device. The executioner played the BDSM to its fullest vision.
During the sexual revolution of the late 1960s, more and more people started to experiment with bondage and different power exchange techniques. Over the years groups have formed and are somewhat more prominent in most U.S. cities of decent population. Heterosexual people have also provided a base for BDSM groups and have also added a safer experience for strangers to explore BDSM. With the addition of important safety rules and safewords more people are comfortable with participating in a BDSM group.
Couples and Bondage
Most people believe that bondage has been a source of sexual arousal and performed during sexual engagements for as long as humans have had rope. There is a helpless emotion that commingles with fear to heighten sexual orgasms.
For many couples who are engaged in a relationships, not within the BDSM subculture, generally have different attitudes toward bondage; viewing bondage as just another sex technique to heighten orgasms for themselves or their partners. Although there are not accurate studies with regards to bondage and couples but most people perceive that couples have experimented, at least casually with bondage while in a long term relationship or marriage. The arousing feeling of having your partners body tied up with your tie or handkerchief or simple twine has provided both pleasure and extreme orgasms to many couples who are stuck in a sexual rut and who are searching for something new to increase their sexual pleasures.
More times than not, when bondage is involved between couples the game ends with sexual escapades. On the other hand, many of the people that engage in the BDSM subculture only experience masturbation or no sexual orgasm at all.
Another difference in the BDSM subculture and couples that are just having casual bondage experiences is safety. For couples safety is secured through trust and is centred on sexual intercourse. Couples may or may not involve safewords, where as the BDSM subculture will involve safewords and argue against sexual intercourse during bondage.
There have been many fascinating studies done with regards to masturbation and mens sexual fantasies. Researchers and participants of these studies showed that bondage while having sex was second only to making love to a superbly gorgeous woman. Bondage is highly regarded as a sexual fantasy of men and pornographic bondage has been available since its inception.
Heterosexual men have a preference for pornography with bound women and not so much with bound men. Although the most frequent fantasy involved being the bound one and not the dominant one. Some men have a problem with accepting their sexuality and do not wish to view bound men in pornography. There is an added sexual stimulation when a man views pornographic images of a woman bound because of ability to live the experience through the dominant male as well as being submissive at times to the requests of a bound women.
Like any type of sexual technique a person or couple must practice. Practice makes perfect and we are all searching for that ultimate orgasmic experience. Bondage is best practiced with communication and trust by all participants. The most enjoyable bondage experiences twist fantasy with reality into the perfect sexual experience. Some studies have suggested that 5%-10% of married couples have coupled bondage with another sexual technique in search of that blissful orgasm. One only has to look at the success that bondage equipment manufacturers have enjoyed in recent years. Many people and couples are now experimenting and enjoying bondage.
Most individuals and couples that are committed to a functioning relationship and participate in bondage rely on trust. After all, you have a desire as well as sexual conviction for this persons total health. Even in the simplest bondage situations there may be danger. Never try self bondage while alone, this technique has led to many unexpected deaths.
Safety features you should practice are not limited to just the following list: You should always be able to remove the bondage restraints by cutting, so as to avoid not being able to unbuckle or untie a bondage device. Under no circumstances should you tie something around a persons neck. Do not place bondage devices on a person and then leave that person alone. Long periods of time while bound by bondage devices or where a person might be suspended might lead to the inability of communication between participates
As noted earlier the BDSM subculture also includes people who regularly search for people to have similar bondage experiences with each other. These people have formed a consensual credo with others to increase the safety factor. These people in the BDSM subculture will make use of “safewords” to help with the non existing trust factor that you might find with a committed couple. “Safewords” are used to tell your partner to stop the activity; in essence you are out of comfort zone when you must use “safewords.”
Most of your pornographic material that involves bondage scenes were picked for the visual and fantasy aesthetics. These bondage scenes are very hard to duplicate in real life experiences.
Why do some people like being tied up?
There are a wide variety of reasons people enjoy the erotica sensation of being tied up and here are just a few of them:
- People enjoy the mental liberty and can shed their inhibitions and responsibilities. In essence they have released control and given that sexual control to another person. This is commonly referred to as “power exchange.”
- Other people are simply stimulated by the actual feeling of the restraints or the force of the bondage devices.
- Others like the experience of helplessness and the need to be satisfied by another person.
- Others enjoy trying to break out of the restraints especially when they are sexually aroused.
There are fewer people in the subcategory who participate in bondage but do not include one specific sexual pleasure.
Even stranger are the few people who desire the pleasure while being degrading. Some people enjoy playing out fantasies that may include being a naughty schoolgirl or prisoner in order to fulfil their sexual event.
Fetish inspired interests that may deal only with the equipment or the restraint device used during the bonding process. People have different fetishes with regards to the smell, look and feel of plastic, rubber or leather equipment. Still others are just fascinated with the geometry of the tie or to what degree of liberty is provided or not provided.
Bondage is also seen as a safe dangerous alternative to other possible life threatening activities such as skydiving or base jumping to just name a few.
Why do some people like to tie other people up?
On the other side of the pendulum some people are aroused by tying other people up. Here again too, there are many different reasons including:
- Being sexually stimulated by the erotic submission of their lover The want to supply your partner with the ultimate orgasmic adventure and that you are able to provide that experience.
- Others too are fascinated by the fetish appeal of the geometry and symmetry of the bondage devices themselves.
- People will use bondage to supplement other BDSM fetish activities.
- People of a dominant nature are involved because of the power and absolute control of having a bound partner; the “power exchange” theory again but the dominant one may like to induce more painful pleasure during the experience.
How is bondage done?
The biggest question for introducing bondage into your sexual experiences with your partner is how much commitment and sexual desire each individual in the relationship has to offer or in need of satisfying. Each party must show trust towards the other partner. Communications are the key with any sexual activity; always tell your partner what you liked or disliked. Practice role playing in both the dominant and submissive roles. Above all things make sure you are using safety measures.
Some extreme people involved in the BDSM subculture search for that perfect partner to live their BDSM fantasy out with in a controlled private area or private party. Generally, these partners will not allow sexual contact during the bondage event.
What are some more involved techniques?
There are five widely used bondage categories and they are; Ropes, harnesses and straps are used to place body parts together X-frames and spreader bars are used to place body parts further away from each other Stocks, chairs and slings tie the body up to other inanimate objects Suspension bondage from devices like door cuffs or restraints Handcuffs, hogtie devices, collars, mouth gags and an assortment of other bondage devices can be used to eliminate movement of your partner.
Sexual acts can be infused into bondage for a wonderfully erotic sexually satisfying experience.